It's November 2003; many months have passed since the Boys hiked Rocky Mt Natl Park. Thanksgiving is days away. It's RB One Kenobi (Jedi Knight's) 39th birthday (which he's celebrating with his new twin sons). The Hat's back to playing indoor soccer. Iron Al is cautiously heading into the Adirondacks (again) with the Boys. E-mail responses to the last G-WeB upload have begun to trickle in. "g" has (calculatingly) coralled the Hat, Iron Al, and Whiskey Tottin' into running the Turkey Trot 5K in Troy Thanksgiving morning. AXE continues to nurse a strained knee. The Knee is basking in hiking self-actualization in Jersey. High Altitude continues to float replicas of mini sail boats in his hot tub in an effort to cope with winter. Oh, man... if the Boys survive another winter of snow shoeing, skiing and their typical mishaps... they might be heading off to the West Coast Trail in Vancouver this summer. In the mean time, what ever happened to the Boys when they trekked into Rocky Mountain National Park last August? Where's the story?

As you last remember, two days before the Boys were to leave for Rocky Mt Natl Park, "g" bailed on the trip due to a minor heart problem; RB One Kenobi (Jedi Knight) stored his gear and assumed the status of available should "g" require surgery. And then... there were only 5 heading west: the Hat, High Altitude, AXE, the Knee from Jersey, and Gotta Have a Lighter Pack Larry.

It should be noted... there was not a G-WeB reporter on this trip. Consequently, we at G-WeB resorted to some pretty devious snooping around to learn the truth about the Boys and their shenanigans in CO. And... wait until you see what we uncovered! What you'll read is likely to make your face break out with the most awful blemishes. You'll be asking yourself, "Are these really the Boys who raised the bar... the standard... for Homer Simpsonism in the back country?"

And... if any of the Boys want to challenge the LaBellishment that follows... we at G-WeBconnect will post their rebuttal without censorship. So, fasten your seat belt... here's what we learned from talking to "g"...

Part 10a:
The Real Truth About the Boys in Colorado
(as told by "g")

During the week in which the Boys were backpacking in CO, I was knee deep in medication and cardiac rehabilitation (a fancy phrase for working-out with a wireless EKG harness attached to your butt). I was eager to learn about their adventure the moment they returned.

Making the decision to not hike with the Boys was disappointing, to say the least. However, I didn't want to feel embarrassed if I died at 12k/ft on Andrews Pass. Even worse, dying would signal an opportunity for the Boys to rummage through my pack and pillage my cool gear before the ceremonial, pushing the 'ol dead guy off the 12k/ft ridge line.

Once home, I heard some amazing stories from the individual conversations with each of the Boys. Here are the high lights:

1) Leaving town: This time... High Altitude therapeutically treated his flying phobia with a six-pack of airport brewskies instead of the previously used and highly sedating Ativan therapy. Consequently, he successfully avoided two days of la-la-la land after flying.

2) Dining out: The Boys love to eat... anything... any time. Apparently they ate amazingly well at the Stanley Hotel (known for it's cameo in The Shining) and Grand Lake Lodge. But, they did suffer a minor dietary setback. Upon their arrival in CO, they had to navigate through an 8-hour tidal wave case of diarrhea - an event triggered by the Hat who suggested with persistent zeal, "Look! Let's chow-down at that all-you-can-eat Mexican restaurant!

3) The Trail
Day 1:
The First day of hiking brought the Boys to, two nights of camping below Ptarmigan Mt (12384 ft). It was an easy 6 mile hike in to a most beautiful camp site. Everyone was healthy!

Day 2:
The Boys hiked around Lake Nokomi and up the scree to the summit on Ptarmigan. The summit offered the most breath taking view of the Rockies.

Day 3:
Gotta Have a Lighter Pack Larry swallowed a mealie bug at breakfast and unexpectedly announced he was returning to the hotel at Grand Lake. The Boys were shocked. The Knee (unsuccessful) offered to perform trail-side surgery with High Altitude's multi-tool. Then... there were only 4!

While rolling up his sleeping pad... pop... AXE felt his lower back snap into despair. He wondered if he could move, much less finish the trip. He took a handful of Motrin. The Boys carefully stood him erect, lightened his pack some, gingerly place his pack on his tender back, and pointed him towards the trail.

They were appropriately fearful of a lightening strike. Thunderheads loomed overhead. They hiked 11 miles; 8 of them at 12k/ft. The Knee and AXE fretfully and slowly traversed the exposed ridge line. High Altitude and the Hat, having visions of lightening strikes upon them, frenetically hiked/ran and left behind the Red-Cross Party; they cycled through 6-hours of panic attacks. HA lost 19-lbs in nervous sweat; TH lost16.

They spent 2-nights camping at Granite Falls. AXE took prescription Flexeril; he became comfortably relaxed. The Boys were exhausted. It had been a cold and damp trip. They were asleep by 1700 hours.

Day 4:
AXE nursed his back, took more Flexeril, and laid low. The Knee, High Altitude and the Hat day-tripped to Haynach Lake. Of course, the Hat needed to trailblaze his own way back to camp and nearly lost a limb on the way down. The Boys hit a hail storm nearing camp. Martha Stewart had dinner prepared and the tarp up for protection.

Day 5:
The Boys hiked out to Grand Lake where they were met by Gotta Have a Lighter Credit Card Bill Larry. That 'ol coot, Larry. He rented a Corvette, drove to Las Vegas, and charged to his wife's business $8500! I have no idea how he pulled that one off with his wife. (Of course, I have yet to hear from him.)

As far as I know, the Boys returned home with (unkempt?) promises to see their primary care physicians for various reasons: back problems, phobias, anxiety attacks, cholesterol, etc. That's as much as I know!

Satellite Spy Camera:
The Boys were playing hide and seek on High Altitude and surprise him by seeing who can stand the tallest.